Demystifying the mystery of pill
After reading the article’s title, you would be thinking; I’m going to talk about some magic pill that will solve all of your problems. Like when we have a fever or any disease, we visit the doctor, and he prescribes some medications, which makes us feel better.
No, I don’t know any mystery about any such magic pill. But, yeah, I know about something that when you are not feeling okay, then “YOU ARE NOT FEELING OKAY.” No one knows about it better than you and a professional in the field who can understand you, your feeling, and its cure.
Yes, I’m going to talk about mental health and break the stigma about taking pills for your mental health. I wrote my first article more than 8 months ago on how I figured out something is wrong with me, affecting my whole life, relationship, and work. In the same article, I talked about how terrified and prejudice I had for finding out having any mental illness and being relieved to know it’s not me. It’s my mental illness making me do these things, which I’m not liking.
In the rest of the article, We will talk about my journey after figuring out my mental illness and overcoming it. No one else can tell me that how relaxed, satisfied, and content I’m feeling today.
Visit 1: The doctor explained that we are in a safe space. Whatever we’ll talk about or the notes he takes cannot be shared with anyone without my consent. After that, he listened and inquired about me with few personal and routine questions to identifying the issue and the unknown disease till then. That day I was in a worse condition. I wasn’t able to say a single sentence without crying. Crying in front of anyone else is the biggest weakness for me. I won’t do it unless I am out of control of my emotions. He listened to me very patiently and empathetically. After the session, he concluded that I’m going through PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), which is very common and curable. He explained to me about the whole situation and the medications which he was going to prescribe me. How it’ll work and what could be the side effects, and in which conditions I have to contact him immediately. He emphasized more on the fact that “taking the medications regularly and included some physical exercise in your routine.”
Post Visit: After taking the medication for two weeks, I wasn’t feeling any difference in any aspect, such as my mood, sadness, hopelessness, and mental fatigue.
My mistakes: I wasn’t completely honest with the doctor, and that’s very normal. There is nothing to worry about.
Be as honest as you can because that’s a safe space between you and the doctor. A doctor can diagnose you successfully only when you co-operate with him.
In between, I shared my feeling of not being honest with the doctor with my husband. He clearly understood me, but he made me realized that there is no physical test in mental health by which a doctor can understand my unsaid things, so I have to be honest with him.
Visit 2: I shared my progress with the doctor, which was none. He looked for side effects, if there is any, like sleepiness, dizziness, or anything else which wasn’t happening earlier but started after medication. In my case, that was also none. This time I followed my husband’s advice and shared every thought and feeling which haunts me or whenever I go in the endless cycle of negative thoughts and guilt. After hearing me completely, he diagnosed me with PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety, prescribed some high doses of medication, explained every medicine, and made me aware of the side effects if I got any after taking drugs.
Post Visit: This time, I felt some difference, but it wasn’t much, and by the end of the day, it starts fading away. There were no side effects yet.
I visited the doctor 2–3 times bi-weekly; in those visits, the doctor increased doses of some medications or changed the prescription. After some point, we were able to figure out which medicines on which doses are working for me. Meanwhile, the doctor also figured that I have insomnia as well since childhood. Apart from medication, he suggested me some exercise and meditation. I worked on that as well and included those in my daily activities.
After being on medication for 4-5 months, there was a sudden change in my weight, and I was having a lot of hair loss too, and those were side effects of high doses of medication. Because of that reason, the doctor changed my medicine, and suddenly I went from a high dose of the drug to zero doses of that medicine. If the same thing happens to you, look for it and ask your doctor what happens in this situation because it was disastrous in my case. I started getting suicidal thoughts.
After that, I changed my doctor. Because after side effects, when the doctor changed my medicine, I felt like I was on day 1 of my medication. I tried to contact my doctor but wasn’t able to; he was on vacation, so I send an email to him on which I got a reply very late and very unsatisfactory. I was in a very urgent need of a visit. Again had to go through from starting, which was very bad for me. Still, I did it with my husband’s help. This doctor explained everything very clearly, why this happened when everything was going alright, and brought back to me on sustainable medication.
1. Never hesitate to take a second opinion if you are not satisfied with your doctor.
2. Taking pills for mental health is not a big deal but do as your doctor suggests.
3. Most important never stop your medication without doctor’s suggestion.
I’m still getting diagnosed with it. Neither doctor nor I’m in any hurry to stop the medication. What matters most, I’m happy and content.
